View Full Version : Introductions

March 12th, 2011, 09:37 AM
I thought it might be fun (and also educational for newbies) if we all introduce ourselves and tell a little bit about our personal views on HIV and AIDS.

I'll get the ball rollin':

My name is not Gos, but only bill collectors, cops, and my relatives ever use my birth name anymore, so Gos is as good a name as any. When I register at a website and I'm told "The last name cannot be blank," I always fill in my last name as "Blank" -- just to show 'em who's boss:D -- and so I go by the name Gos Blank.

I first stumbled on Virusmyth.com while doing research on a seemingly unrelated topic: Internet virus hoaxes. When I clicked the link for Virusmyth, I expected a site like Snopes, and what I found there instead, I simply refused to believe at first. I set out to prove these "denialists" wrong, only to watch my own reasons for believing as I did simply evaporate. (At the time, I believed that HIV exists, that it plays at least a factoral role in AIDS, that it is sexually transmissible, that HIV tests accurately detect infection, and that ARVs keep the infection in check, allowing the CD4 cells to flourish.)

As I found myself more and more compelled by dissident arguments, I realized that I needed to be equally skeptical of both the mainstream and dissident arguments, or my hypocritical one-sided "skepticism" meant nothing.

When I turned my skepticism on the mainstream arguments, the whole damned thing just crumbled like a house of cards in a hurricane.

I've been a dissident ever since.

My current views on HIV and related subjects:

I am not convinced that HIV exists, and the balance of the evidence I've examined suggests a high probability that it does not. I am not 100% convinced that HIV doesn't exist, but only in the same sense that I'm also not 100% convinced that God doesn't exist (in which I am a high priest of the agnostic faith, and becoming more and more of an atheist, the more I learn about organized religion.) I guess the best way to put it is that I'm pretty sure HIV doesn't exist, but it wouldn't be impossible to convince me that it does if I saw what I considered to be sufficient proof to that effect.

Needless to say, if I'm "pretty sure" that HIV doesn't exist, I give extremely slim odds that it could possibly be the cause of AIDS.

As for HIV tests, I am fairly certain that they do not mean what we're told, but I don't agree with those dissidents who insist that they're completely meaningless either. For the sake of honesty, I am probably biased in this regard by my own health history, which has basically been a history of having what might be regarded as "AIDS" for thirty years before testing positive -- only now that I test positive, guess what my doctors now call the symptoms of my pre-existing Crohn's disease, multiple allergies, and other autoimmune issues? I guess it's good to know what causes these diseases, because back in the day when my doctors were calling it "Crohn's disease" and other autoimmune diseases, they didn't have a clue what caused it back then. Now that I've tested poz, suddenly they call these same diseases by a different name, and they tell me it's caused by this magical, shape-shifting, wily virus (which also can time-travel to cause AIDS symptoms thirty years before you get it -- and also cause AIDS symptoms in your sister as well for a time during her childhood -- Oh, and also it causes lipodystrophy and dementia and heart attacks and strokes and liver failure and while we're at it, it causes everything else too. Yes, even that.)

I suspect that many (though quite possibly not all) of those who test positive are like myself -- false-positive because of pre-existing autoimmune or other disease which their doctors in turn call "AIDS" and treat with highly toxic black-box drugs, and then when the patient dies from the combination of his untreated illness(es) plus drugs for an infection that he doesn't have, his doctor shrugs his shoulders, blames a "drug resistant strain" of a nonexistent virus, and enjoys a $1,000 luncheon, delivered to his clinic on the dime of the pharmaceutical rep who sold the drugs that finished the patient off in the first place.

On the subject of ARVs, I used to think (based on personal experience and research) that no one ever benefitted in any way from them, but courtesy of this very group, I now know at least a couple of people who have had good results with ARVs, for reasons neither they nor I can seem to explain. I cannot ignore the legions who have died from taking ARVs, but also I cannot ignore the evidence of my friends who say that they owe their continued good health to ARVs.

It's the exceptions in life that show you just how little you truly know about the rules.

Who else wants ta come up here an testify!


March 12th, 2011, 01:15 PM
I'm trying to be thorough, so this is long...

"Following a very tough, emotional breakup with my long-time boyfriend, in January, 2001 I got a cold or flu that just never seemed to go away. I was even finding it very difficult to eat, which was very unusual for me. I developed a cough and shortness of breath which gradually got worse and worse. I saw several doctors, mostly of the integrative type to no avail, and at one point requested a chest x-ray, which apparently showed nothing wrong.

I dragged on until I could barely walk and was really unable to work. Near the end of May, I finally asked a friend to take me to the ER at Duke. They got me on oxygen so fast it made my head spin. My oxygen level was 78, which is extremely low. I was so sick I don’t remember the sequence of everything, but they called my daughter and she came and at some point I was asked if the could do an HIV test “just to rule it out”. Well of course it didn’t, and 2 doctors came to my room (I had been admitted) the next day or so and broke the news. They seemed surprised that I was as upset as I was and told me that it was no longer a death sentence.

I spent about a week in the hospital, spiking a fever the first or second night. I was treated with all the usual, prednisone, Bactrim and I don’t remember what else. They had confirmed, via chest x-ray and I think a bronchoscopy, though I don’t recall any sedation, that I had PCP. I guess this happened before I got the news, because I remember asking if I had AIDS, and they said yes.

I went home and took a lot of time recovering. I could barely rise from a seated position without my thighs screaming, and I felt like I’d lost a lot of muscle. I had lost quite a bit of weight while eating very little. Fortunately, my appetite had returned before I left the hospital.

So they set me up with an appointment at the infectious disease clinic about 3 weeks later, at which time they asked me if I’d like to participate in a clinical trial. Just think! All those life-saving drugs for free! Ir seemed like a good idea at the time, so I signed my life away. It took a while for my numbers, which started out at CD4 100 and viral load about 700,000, to improve, but they did and everyone was pleased with how well I was doing. I did start to feel a lot better and had very few side effects–maybe short-lived mild diarrhea. I found out later, although I always suspected this was the case, that I was on Trizivir and Sustiva. I stayed on the trial until it ended in February of 2005, going in at the proper intervals to have blood drawn, my body measured, and my brain tested with various little puzzle things. I had signed up for a few additional studies that went along with the main one.

When the study ended, they got me on the ADAP program, so the state paid for my drugs. I had since sold the restaurant at quite a loss and had become nanny for my grandson who had been born in March, 2003. Shortly after that I filed bankruptcy, being unable to pay the credit cards I had run up trying to keep the business afloat.

In May, 2005, while checking out a positive personals site recommended by a guy in Florida with whom I had struck up a phone friendship, I happened upon an ad that mentioned a few dissident sites. This intrigued me, so I decided to visit virusmyth.com and see what those nuts had to say. Well, I was hooked almost immediately and read voraciously for weeks and then months. Every time I said, “Well, what about…?”, there was a plausible answer. I had recently developed a rash on my arms and chest, my “numbers” were excellent, and I had begun to feel that maybe my body had had enough of the drugs, so just before my next Duke appointment, I went cold turkey off the drugs. I can’t remember whether I told them before I did it or right after, but they were pretty nice about it. No one yelled or threatened me with imminent death.

Shortly after quitting the drugs, I began to experience allergy-like symptoms. It was mostly an increase of mucus accompanied sometimes by a cough. The very act of eating seemed to aggravate it. I don’t remember how quickly things progressed, but they did. The cough got worse and over time my digestion got really bad. I was plagued by worsening fatigue and could barely climb my stairs without resting. I had bloodwork done and my liver enzymes were high and getting higher. My platelets and white blood cells were low and eventually my ferritin levels were through the roof. I had chest x-rays and an abdominal CAT scan which didn’t show much except a slightly fatty liver and mildly enlarged spleen. I saw a gastroenterologist for my liver, but all he did was talk me into an endoscopy and colonoscopy, which were normal except for a little esophageal candid, so I was prescribed Diflucan and Nexium for reflux I didn’t think I had.

A few months before these tests, I got a bronchitis sort of thing that never went away. This was when I got really sick and could barely eat without immediately regurgitate due to the coughing. Things were just a mess between this and the fatigue and the digestive stuff. My daughter was starting to research nursing homes. I could barely do anything.

Eventually, I broke down and agreed to go back to the ID doc at Duke. Of course, everything was because of AIDS and the only hope I was offered was a new drug–Atripla. Reluctantly I went on it and here is where it gets freaky. I improved almost immediately and continued to do so. Matt Irwin, the dissident doctor in Alexandria, VA, with whom I had been corresponding since having seen him once, said it was probably that the drug was suppressing my immune system and that I had something autoimmune going on. This sounded pretty plausible to me, but who knows? Nothing natural that I had tried seemed to work at all."

The above is most of an entry I posted on Liam Scheff's blog in Jan., 2009 in answer to "When did you first become positive?" I stayed on the Atripla for about a year before weaning myself off it. Several months later, after somehow acquiring salmonella, I got scared and went back on and have remained healthy. I'm now on the verge of stopping again, but will take steps from the beginning to ward off possible fungal and viral problems that could develop.


April 13th, 2011, 02:41 PM

I just read your story.

You've definitely been through hell (and back again).

Questions: Are you currently on ARVs? How is your health now? What is current diet? Are you able to exercise daily? Weekly? (I know you asked me about diet on another thread ... )

I am very opinionated when it comes to health, diet and exercise. Since a small group of my clients are HIV positive, I immediately put them on a high protein, clean carb, clean fat diet with *purified* water and an insufferable cardiovascular regimen to build the immune system back up. I reject the usual pity party and tell them that the key to living a long and healthy life is to fight back and re-establish that immune system. All of my HIV poz clients are gay and each one has an incredible story to tell - but all of them are fighters. My objective as their trainer has been to instill a sense of close quarter combat (CQB) so that they adopt an offensive attitude against the disease (whatever they are suffering from) and use both a positive mental attitude (yes, very Louise Hay) while using the body's own immune system to fight back: food, weights, cardio. [ In 2006, I began training a young man who was incredibly sick. His face was white, his skin had a pasty look to it and his eyes were bloodshot. Gay, 32, massive STD infection, HIV positive, on ARVs for two years. I told him to REJECT everything his physicians had told him about his imminent death; throw it out. As long as he was my client he was to adopt a new attitude - a killer attitude - and that if he did, he would live - if he didnt, he would die. And if he wanted to die, fine. But if he wanted to live, he had to adopt a new, positive attitude if I were to train him. This gentleman is still alive, a bodybuilder and is doing fine. He lives with his partner in Dallas, Texas. His whole aura about life is directly related to *living* - there is no retreat, no pity party, only a proper, direct approach to life as a proud, gay man who is HIV positive but whose immune system is back on track ].

Although I cannot advise them to leave their ARVs, I am asked all the time about the medication; I can only give my opinion on them, based upon what I have read, researched and what former clients have told me about them (and its not good). Remember the doctors anthem: First, do no harm. I beleive that most physicians are post-nominaled yes-men, who do what their told, based upon what their Big Pharma reps tell them. I worked in a large, psychiatric office in Seattle as an office manager - I KNOW what these Pharma Reps are like. They are white collar drug dealers (not all, but some). However, I *beleive* in pyschotropics - I beleive they do good ... in the short term. In the long term, they destroy your immune system, as do all drugs.

Linda, I truly beleive diet is the key here: fresh, organic vegetables, fresh (lean) meat, coupled with an array of exercises will build the immune system, and create a strong, healthy ability to fight infection. Whether by design (God) or by time (Evolution), the human body only needs the right type of fuel to maintain a healthy, strong, immune system. I know this may sound silly, and I preach it all the time, but its more factual than a doctor telling you to take a pill "to get better." How much better? And how many pills?

In any event, Linda, you've been through the ringer; I only have ears - and pray that your condition improves. Improve your diet, get outside and get some fresh air ... exercise, exercise, exercise. Fresh, non-sugar fruit juices coupled with a new killer attitude! Take a CQB approach to life. Go after the disease and attack it with an organic diet and purified water (and raw eggs)!


April 13th, 2011, 05:21 PM
Thanks for you thoughts and concern, Mike. My diet is pretty good as a whole, I think, but I do get in trouble when I let myself get too hungry. I do a good amount of protein, since I seem to do better and stay fuller that way. I'm toying with staying off gluten and maybe unfermented dairy for awhile to see if it helps any. I do seem to get quite bloated at times. My veggie intake needs to increase a bit, and I generally avoid refined carbs. But I also have a great love of good food and find it very hard to resist really great stuff when I'm out. I'm not sure which outweighs the other, since I think enjoyment and quality of life are likely as important as making sure you put exactly the right things in your body.

I exercise several times a week, and some of it is not very intensive, but I feel it really does good things for me. I did rhythm boxing on Wii Fit Plus three days ago and today is the first day I'm not sore from it, which probably means I need to be more consistent. I seem to be one of those people who benefits more from gentle exercise than really killing yourself. We do exist!

I am at present tapering off the ARVs but am having second thoughts after meeting with my psychologist this morning. I call her my "shrinkette", but not to her face, of course. Matt Irwin had strongly encouraged me to seek some form of counseling to deal with all the crap around this HIV thing, and I finally found someone to whom I relate. She feels it might be better to institute any changes I think I might be willing to undergo when off the drugs while I'm still on them to see how far I'm willing to go and how things work out. This makes a kind of sense to me, so I might slow things down a little and see if eating really well makes a difference. I'm also anxious to see what this integrative doctor I'm seeing on Monday has to say. I appreciate where you're coming from, but I'm afraid regaining and maintaining health in my position is a little more complicated than you think. At least, it has been in my case, and I need to be prepared for things that might crop up.

I don't think I have fibromyalgia because, although I have many trigger points that are very sensitive, they're not the "tender points" in the right places. Apparently, they're quite specific. I don't feel I have the energy I'd like to, but I generally feel pretty well.

I hope I've answered all your questions. I'll keep everyone posted on how things go!


April 13th, 2011, 05:24 PM
I am very opinionated when it comes to health, diet and exercise. Since a small group of my clients are HIV positive, I immediately put them on a high protein, clean carb, clean fat diet with *purified* water and an insufferable cardiovascular regimen to build the immune system back up. I reject the usual pity party and tell them that the key to living a long and
healthy life is to fight back and re-establish that immune system.
[Moderator Note: excessive quote deleted.]

Hi mike that's something what I call truly inspiring ....
Your words really helps a lot to motivate me...
May I ask you some detailed info about protein, carb supplements etc, because I am still searching....

I take everyday whey protein
Bananas three
Other fruits
Salad with fresh onion, garlic, olive oil.
Evening with coconut oil cooked curry saus with lamb meat,fresh Ginger, onion, garlic etc with veg. Rice.
Take grape fruit slices in between
Replenish nutrient

I am taking replenish last two weeks but feel pain in my liver and lower back where I suspect my kidneys are situated. Any tips?

April 13th, 2011, 06:49 PM

Contact me offline and drop me a line - my tel is on my website and I would be glad to speak with you.


April 29th, 2011, 03:52 AM
What is your website Mike?

April 29th, 2011, 06:08 PM

Got it! Read you 5x5.