View Full Version : Sci-fi: Toronto, 2006 (ame-a197)

August 7th, 2005, 09:53 AM
<TABLE ><TR><TD><FONT size=2>"Joy at World HIV/AIDS Gathering: Terror suspect arrested."<BR>by Laurence Alzheimen, <BR>special investigative reporter to CBC Canada Inc.<BR>32 July 2006<BR><BR>Pure joy flooded the floor at the World Conference on HIV/AIDS which opened today in Toronto. Opening remarks by human rights leader Stephen Lewis were interrupted by Bono with the special announcement that a denialist had been arrested on his way to terrorize the conference. <BR><BR>While conferences are well known for spats between pharmaceutical representatives, government officials and activists, today we saw all particpants break out in mutual hugging and cries of joy. Bono lead the group in a rendition of "We Shall Overcome." <BR><BR>For the first time since the successes of AZT and PIs were announced at world conferences, tears of joy flooded the conference.<BR><BR>"This is the day we beat AIDS," said a jubilant Dr. Mark Ballberg, inventor of the life-saving antiviral 3PCO. For a decade Ballberg has been calling on nations to prosecute denialists. "I ve always said hang a few and they ll shut up," confirmed Dr. Ballberg. <BR><BR>"Conspiracy theorists have been the major cause of HIV infection, AIDS and deaths for the last decade. Just look at the devastation in South Africa," screamed Dr. Ballberg before leading AIDS and HIV victims in a chant of "Mbeki Kills."<BR><BR>The CIA has to date only identified the denialist by his codename "Roepmywoes." CIA Dutch translators suggest his name means "making South African children weap by denying them life-giving highly active antiviral therapy or HAART." Unidentified sources say he took pleasure in the idea of refusing newborn children life-giving ARVs. <BR><BR>He has told HIV victims not to take life-saving medicines. He has even claimed retroviruses as highly adaptive and intelligent as HIV do not have a brain.<BR><BR>Believed to be a chemist, and not a virologist, he was flying from Amsterdam to Toronto. In a heroic effort above Newfoundland, American bombers and Canadian helicopters arrived and forced the passenger jet to land in New Jersey. A joint effort with the FBI, CIA and Team America brought the denialist under custody with limited collateral damage. Six Dutch tourists were summarily executed but officials have announced their regrets.<BR><BR>Rumours have not been confirmed that this killer of innocent children was carrying a drug resistant HV59BS virus he intended on releasing in the Toronto convention centre. The World Health Organization has repeatedly warned since 2002 that without adequate stockpiles of antivirals the world could face an HV59BS pandemic. The rumour of a new resistant strain has sent pharmaceutical stocks sky rocketing as reserach booms in new antivirals to fight the impending drug resistant HV59BS pandemic. (See Sidebar.)<BR><BR>In a press conference which ended the opening ceremonies, Bono confirmed that the arrest was made due to the novel combination of the WHO and pharmaceutical corporations lobbying national leaders and security forces to arrest the denialists.<BR><BR>"HIV/AIDS has finally been recognized as a true global security issue," said Bono. "We all feel safer knowing the WHO, intelligence services, corporations and armed forces are working together in the War on AIDS." The audience, including press, responded in a chant of "One world, one hope."<BR><BR>The conspiracy theorist will remain in isolation until he is transported to a new camp in Fuji Bay, Alaska to await a trial before the first combined scientific and celebrity tribunal organized by the WHO in conjunction with the President himself. <BR><BR>Activists are already calling for Dr. Ho, Dr. Ballberg, Dr. Gallo and Bono to be appointed to the tribunal. The case will not be heard until 2026 to allow prosecutors the necessary time to build their case. <BR><BR>In a related incident, UK Emperor Tony Blair has asked Australia to extradite the denialists known by the code name "The Perth Group." They are believed to be responsible for the expanding HIV and HCV epidemics. They are said to have sponsored denialist cells in London. Unknown thousands of British citizens have also been harmed by accessing their hateful website. <BR><BR>c. CBCITAINT 2006</FONT></TD></TR></TABLE>

August 8th, 2005, 04:54 AM
<TABLE ><TR><TD><FONT size=2>Robin,<BR><BR>Thank you for reporting this event. It was a drag, I m telling ya! But being sent to Footsie Bay, Alaska. is still better than being summarily executed, or being hanged by Mark Ballberg. Anyhow, it s always better to be hung than hanged.<BR>Pity I didn t make it to Toronto (Does Granby Street ring a bell?) But then, they roll up the sidewalks at 1:00 a.m. anyway. They did, the last time I was there.<BR><a target=_top href= http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNfox000 ><img src= http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_1_112.gif alt= Prisoner border=0></a><BR><BR>Keep up the good work. I ll let you know when torture starts.<BR><BR>Roepmywoes<BR></FONT></TD></TR></TABLE>

December 2nd, 2005, 03:59 PM
<TABLE ><TR><TD><FONT size=2>Do you have a link to the original article of this? Where did you find this in? I haven t ever heard of denialists being arrested or hanged or anything. Is this news only available to Canadians?</FONT></TD></TR></TABLE>

December 3rd, 2005, 03:42 AM
<TABLE ><TR><TD><FONT size=2>Hehehe...good one, Robin. You almost had me there for a minute. Guess we need to inform newcomers that we re not always serious. Okay, we re serious but not always 100% factual. And we can laugh.<BR><BR>Linda</FONT></TD></TR></TABLE>

March 10th, 2006, 12:02 PM
<TABLE ><TR><TD><FONT size=2>This was AMAZING. We need more stuff like this. I am seriously laughing so hard that I had a hard time breathing.</FONT></TD></TR></TABLE>

June 19th, 2006, 01:46 PM
<TABLE ><TR><TD><FONT size=2><DIV>Should look at More Sci-Fi: SA Free at Last! </DIV> <DIV>&nbsp;</DIV> <DIV>Wicked!</DIV></FONT></TD></TR></TABLE>